Virtual or In-person?

In this article, in the following order…

Deciding and dealing with virtual or in-person school under Covid protections

Tips for virtual schooling

Menu of off-line at-home activities for keeping kids busy and out of trouble

Managing screen time

Pros and cons of virtual counseling

How to know if your kids are doing ok

Keeping ourselves healthy in changing circumstances

Virtual or In-person?

How do we balance our children’s safety with meeting their social, emotional, and special education needs? Do we keep them home or send them to school so they can get unmet social interaction needs met? I had a teacher tell me the kids would have plexiglass on three sides of their desks and wear masks at school all day. Another teacher in a different district told me they formed a committee to decide how this would be done, but they hadn’t met yet. Still another shared that the students would still be doing a the virtual version of school at school with a teacher’s aide proctoring/supporting. Would it be worth it under these conditions?

I think we have little choice to make compromises, one way or the other. I do not think we can reasonably expect that IEP’s can be fully implemented. We are trying to figure these things out in an ever-changing scenario, making up and changing plans as we go. Our educators are worried too, they are earnestly working to do their best. We have little choice but to be patient. Virtual counseling, occupational therapy, adaptive PE, speech therapy, will these work virtually with younger students, students with ADHD, autism, intellectual disabilities? Maybe. We can offer incentives to students reluctant to engage with the virtual form of educational services, such as access to electronics or preferred food and snacks, which would be denied if the student did not make an effort to stay in attendance cooperating with the school staff. Consider that your child’s education is not a race. Most of our students are being held back, most likely, they may all have some make-up work and time to reach the expected levels of academic achievement.

In October I will be presenting, virtually unfortunately, for the Texas Association of School Psychologists a one-day workshop, Counseling Tools or whatever it’s called, look it up. I was speaking with Cassandra Hulsey, their president-elect, about what school psychologists (LSSP’s) are saying about virtual counseling and working in these Covid conditions. She reported that they are having trouble getting kids to even show up for scheduled related service counseling sessions. She also said that LSSP’s have concerns about the backlog of special education testing, initial evaluations and three-year re-evaluations. One of the problems, Cassandra explained, is that with students for many months not receiving the normal rigor of academic instruction, socialization, and with all the emotional stress of the changes, how would they say with certainty that being behind academically, or showing social/emotional deficits, is the result of a possibly life-long disability? Maybe it’s lack of educational opportunity, or a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances. So we have little choice, again, but to be patient with special education assessments getting done.

Complicating matters further, our testing norms are based on population samples from previous years when the populations had the benefit of more and better quality instruction. Some of the LSSP’s worry that their tests won’t be valid indicators of how current children compare to age-peers from previous school years; the old norms could differ significantly from what would be seen in testing scores based on our current and future populations. So they will be stuck with either saying someone has a lasting handicapping condition, such as a learning disability or emotional disturbance, so they can get specialized services, or they don’t, so they won’t get access to these services, because we can’t say with certainty that their current problems are not related to the restrictions put in place by public health concerns related to Covid-19. That’s a pickle. Sounds difficult to choose which is best, what we are left with is choosing which option is least bad.

Here is a virtual or in-person decision making tool from the CDC to help with this difficult choice; https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/communit…

When groups like families and educational institutions are faced with changes, uncertainty, and dilemmas like these, we can predict there will be emotionally charged conflicts in ideas about what is best to do. This makes it hard for us to work as teams and support one another, which is what we need to do. I hear the family law courts are really packed right now.

Tips for virtual schooling

Designated area for school work

Make a calendar and schedule, put in breaks

Don’t forget other activities, exercise and fun

Screen time limits

Expect glitches as online school platforms may initially be overwhelmed by the number of people logging on

Create contingencies for remaining engaged and completing work. Consult with an LSSP or behavioral specialist if needed. For details on creating an effective behavior management and discipline system, try the free course, Behavior Management Tips and Tools, at https://intensivecareforyou.com/resources-for-free…

The above link will also lead to quite a few emotional coping strategies and tools.

Menu of off-line at-home activities

The following link will lead you to a menu of off-line at-home activities for kids, how to speak with children during times of crises in developmentally appropriate ways, managing screen time, caregiver stress inventory with ways to cope, and some emotional coping skills like affirmations for anxiety, these can work whether you opt for virtual or in-person schooling:

https://intensivecareforyou.com/help-kids-in-times…

Pros and cons of virtual counseling: https://intensivecareforyou.com/wp-content/uploads…

How to know if your kids are doing ok

Some changes in behavior are expected as required. Here would be some warning signs that may warrant investigation:

Lethargic

Easily frustrated

Changes in sleeping patterns

Changing in eating patterns, especially with weight loss or gain

Withdrawn, won’t talk about it

Asking for help or refusing any help

Refusing to leave the home for any reason

Frequent conflicts, defiance

Rages, tantrums

Not finding pleasure in normally enjoyed activities

Difficulty with memory, thinking, or concentration

Increase in risky behaviors

Changes in appearance, lack of hygiene

Thoughts of suicide or not wanting to live

If you have concerns and can’t seem to connect with one of your kids to talk about it, consider involving a mental health professional to help with evaluation and intervention. If you are the parent and your gut says something isn’t right, trust your instincts. Younger children are often not able to identify what is wrong when they are stuggling, maybe they just show it in behavior. Older children are often reluctant or embarrassed to admit to having strange and disturbing thoughts.

Keeping ourselves healthy

Focus on what you do have and can do- what can we do now? Have any projects, interests, or hobbies you always wanted to try but never had the time for? Maybe now you do!

Remember that things are starting to get better. People are resilient and adapting to change.

Patience- Try to expect good things down the road, to think everything will be okay, and we don’t have to solve and do everything right now.

Exercise and get out in nature. We can still do this, at least.

Find some good books.

Make a family schedule/routine. Structure and habits create security, especially for younger children.

Sponser a creative family staycation.

Write letters or start a journal.

Reach out and communicate with friends and family often.

Try to remind yourself that you are healthy and safe, if that’s true and I hope it is. Count the blessings. Who else is safe and healthy that you care about right now? Are you living in a comfortable environment? Do you have food and water? Are your basic needs covered for now?

I hope some of this helps you get through your decision about virtual or in-person school and managing the effects.

Wishing you all the best and abundant health,

Brad