Are you ready to help a gifted and/or autistic person with tempering perfectionism? Can these ideas help anyone identify problems with perfectionism and address them? Yes, turns out perfectionism is a widespread, well-documented, increasing problem in modern cultures.

If it’s not perfect, it’s no good.

Part I of this article covers what perfectionism can look like, signs that perfectionism might be a problem for you, and understanding the cost of your perfectionism.

It also details how perfectionism is experienced from the inside out. Hopefully this helps the person who may have been blind to the problems and costs to themselves. How it is experienced by others so the impact can be more clear to the person with these traits. Finally, a synopsis of factors that may lead to developing perfectionistic traits, studies documenting the increasing rise of perfectionism in modern cultures, and unhealthy consequences linked by research.

Part II will outline strategies for gifted autistic tempering perfectionism, regardless of being gifted, autistic, having something else, or none of these.

Part III contains ideas to try if nothing in Part II seems to work, consideration of variables interfering with problem identification and satisfactory solutions, sources of additional help, and links to articles and research on the topics of gifted, autistic, and tempering perfectionism.

Tempering Perfectionism- How Do I Know When it’s Going Too Far?

How can I tell if my perfectionism is holding me back? Place a check in front of the items below that may apply.

____If I can’t make an A or win, then I won’t try.

____If I did try something once, and it didn’t go well, that’s it, I will never go there again.

____If I had a friend and they betrayed me in any way, if I thought they were wrong or unfair, then that friend is out.

____If I’m unsure if I will be 100% today, then I won’t leave the house.

____Maybe not even my bed.

____The thought of others having critical judgements about me is intolerable, so I will avoid any situation where I imagine that could happen.

____ I get very upset if someone challenges me or says I was wrong.

____I might be depressed.

____I think that others’ love and approval for me is based on my perfect performance.

____I feel ashamed, angry, or guilty if I make mistakes. I may have been caught thinking or saying “I’m no good” after small errors or getting into trouble.

____I don’t know how to laugh at myself when I screw up.

____I have trouble recovering from mistakes, failures, disappointments.

____One small problem can throw off my whole day.

____I hate the thought that things may not turn out as I expected or do not happen on the schedule I anticipated.

____I have difficulty making simple choices.

____I hoard things. What if I need them someday?

____It’s very difficult to organize. Where is the best place to put them? Do I really feel like doing this now?

____I procrastinate.

____It is hard to relax. I hate feeling that I’m not getting something done.

____I drink or use other substances to relax and get my brain to shut up.

____I can’t stand being around people who are messy, silly, or think they are right when I know they are not.

____I don’t like compliments or don’t accept/receive them as expected.

____I’ve never really been good enough.

____My school, sibling, children, boss, job, political system, religion is never good enough. I get frustrated.

____I feel like a failure.

____I struggle to share my thoughts and feelings with others. I feel like I should stay strong and in control of my emotions.

____I either obsess about rules, lists, or work, or I completely ignore them. I may even appear to completely not care about anything.

____It is hard to stop thinking about the mistakes I have made, or feeling the regret.

____I am not satisfied with my life.

____I feel like a failure as a parent every time my kid misbehaves.

____I struggle with getting things done on time. There is always more that could be done or added.

____All-or-nothing thinking.

____I don’t trust others to do things right, so I try to do everything myself.

____I use the word “should” often.

____I avoid starting things until I’m sure I can do really great.

____After conversations are over, I ruminate about what I could or should have said.

____If I don’t do well, or others don’t react to me well, my self-confidence goes in the toilet.

____There is someone or something that is not right with me, I can’t stop thinking about it, and feeling aggravated.

____I can be very critical but can’t stand to be criticized.

____I’m a workaholic. I may feel uncomfortable with free time or down time.

____I take pleasure in other people’s failure.

____If don’t get that kid to start following directions now, then he will never learn and he will end up in jail or worse.

____I get anxious about new things, places, people, or not getting to follow my usual routine.

____My grades are either 100’s or zeros.

____If I could ever learn to do things right, then I would have a better life, but I can’t.

____If my car, project, or other item has a minor flaw or makes any funny noise I don’t like or can’t explain, that’s what I focus on.

____I can’t stand to waste things like time, leftover food, unused paper.

____I won’t perform in front of others. I feel really nervous. Even if I’m told I’m a great speaker, piano player, singer of songs, I prefer to play or perform by myself.

____I don’t like my body.

____I find myself in arguments often.

Okay, that has probably gone on too long already. Got more? Email me.

How many checks do you see? What do you think that means? (This is not a standardized clinical instrument at all, would not warrant any diagnosis, only intended as an exercise for self-reflection or considering a child’s needs.)

What are the costs and risks, to me, of my perfectionism?

Mental health– research has linked traits of perfectionism to higher rates of feeling inadequate, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, chronic stress, suicide, addictions, deliberate self-harm, social anxiety disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome, PTSD, agoraphobia, hoarding, vocational burnout, OCPD, and OCD.

Relationships– your traits of perfectionism may be as hard or harder for those around you to deal with than they are for yourself. You may feel socially disconnected, lacking close friends, strained family relationships. like nobody understands you. See below for details of how someone with these traits may be experienced by others.

Lower productivity– procrastination, weak or distorted sense of self, inhibited passion, criticisms, mistakes, poor compassion for self or others, comparing self to others, and overthinking can create a cognitive load and feelings that may wear you out or overwhelm. You also may get less cooperation if others see you as being harshly critical, overly demanding, lacking compassion. If you can’t delegate because you fear others may not do it right, or your version of right, then you place all the work on yourself. Setting clear long-term goals can be difficult or even impossible for the mind on perfection, what if it turns out not to be the best goal, the right goal, or I never get there? Lacking clear reasonable goals can make it hard to organize your behavior and put forth effort. Keeping yourself motivated out of fear to keep bad things from happening can be more taxing than motivation and beliefs about joy and success.

Less creativity– quick rejections of ideas that might not be good enough, frustration or unwillingness at experimenting with wild ideas that may not work, critical judgement of efforts not immediately producing the desired perfect result can really get in your way. Did you know that Monet destroyed many of his works in frustration? Historically it is recorded he even destroyed about 15 elaborate works of his art right before and exhibition.

Poor physical health– The stress of struggling for perfection can lead to headaches, ulcers, fatigue, insomnia, high blood pressure, heart disease, shorter life expectancy.

Addiction– Distracting from or disrupting life events generally considered as normal or healthy such as diet, sleep, exercise, school, work, engaging in relationships, social groups. Can include alcohol, other substances, video games, digital media self-immersion and isolation. A perfectionist could be especially good at feeling bad for doing these things, may feel helpless to stop, and may need some extra help and possible professional guidance and support to make a change in behavior.

How the person with traits of perfectionism sees themselves vs how seen by others

Perfectionism is not a behavior, it is how the person sees themselves. In the context of relationship, the person who has these traits thinks they are just trying to make sure things are done right. They are motivated by fear, and see themselves as protecting by keeping others from ending in some kind of catastrophe or crisis. They think if they can just make sure everything is done right, then everyone will be okay. So they are really just looking out for others, taking care of them. They can become very unsettled or angry if anything isn’t done by their criteria, because flaws and slip-ups equal future disaster and failure.

From the other side, however, consider the potential perspectives of those on the receiving end. They may feel uncomfortable being around someone who seems uptight all the time and has trouble relaxing. Do you think they appreciate being policed and reminded, or do they feel judged and criticized? Do you like being told what to do and how to do it? Someone who always worries what other people will think? Being around someone who seems fragile and has minor meltdowns when things don’t go as scheduled or expected? Quibbled with over the details of right and wrong, and who is right or wrong? Not so much. They may get worn down, burnt out, withdraw, distance themselves. They likely feel unsupported and under-appreciated. Why can’t you just relax, allow, enjoy, have fun without being the boss and controlling everything? Sometimes I like to remind people that in the context of relationship, being right is wrong. Or I may ask, what are you going to get for being right? This question usually gets a puzzled look. So if you prove your point, you somehow get or make the other person agree with you, change their minds, think like you, then what- a prize? The reward is irritation no matter the outcome.

Literature about perfectionism separates three common flavors — “self-oriented,” demands perfection from themselves; “other-oriented,” demands perfection from others, and “socially prescribed” perfectionism, where the person imagines they are being watched closely and judged harshly if they come up less than perfect in any way. The last one, according to the literature, can be the most harmful and tough to beat.

But couldn’t my perfectionism be an advantage? The short answer, according to the research, is no. It can be a useful strength to pursue excellence, or progress, but not perfection. Think of it like this. I was on the swim team when I was in middle school. My Dad often said to me, “Do your best.” Now, what if you say that to someone with a bit of an imagination, and some all-or-nothing tendencies (how do you think I have such intimacy and passion with this topic?). Here is how it went in my mind. “Hmmm, I try really hard, I push, show up for all practices even thought I hate jumping into the cold water in the morning, but how do I know if I tried my best? I mean, if I really gave it EVERYTHING I had, then wouldn’t I be dead at the end? Telling myself I could have done better, every single time, and feeling bad no matter how hard I worked?” For someone who thinks like me, encouraging to make a reasonable effort seems more balanced. You want to save some of yourself for the next go. Celebrate progress, like yourself, try to have a little fun, and be happy with second place. Otherwise, it may be very difficult to ever feel good enough. Sorry Dad. Love you. Nothing personal. You were a good enough parent. I’m okay.

What is the cost of self-blending a less than perfect outcome as a failure with your self; toxic shame, guilt, or maybe projecting blame and anger towards others for “causing” your distress by not behaving according to your code. Projection of blame, a way of defending against awareness of one’s own flaws, can lead to obsession with imperfections and wrongs of a specific other, such as a sibling, or class of people, such as immigrants, or a politician or political platform.

What about people who are dyslexic, gifted, or autistic, and have trouble tempering perfectionism?

How would neurologically based differences, like ADHD, Autism, or the asynchronous development of giftedness interact with perfectionism?

In a word, yikes. Now you have a person who by nature is more prone to errors, especially in a social context. I can tell you from many hours and instances with such children and adults in my practice office, this is a formula for a perfect- no pun intended- storm. This can lead to a person who can’t stand themselves, can’t stand other people, can’t stand school, or can’t stand work. That’s a problem.

How would perfectionism be especially problematic for a gifted child? Here you are, bright and verbal. Your vocabulary and cognition is more developed than the kids around you. You keep trying to talk to them, ask questions, explain things, but they don’t understand or respond in expected ways. You don’t realize they can’t think like you do, or understand your words. Remember your perfectionism requires effective performance and outcomes at all times, and extreme distress when the cookie crumbles. Would you be mad, sad, lonely? Would you feel weird, like a misfit, or lash out and blame others?

The younger gifted child may have motor delays, so while their brain can envision an elaborate tower, their fingers can’t balance the blocks together, or draw the picture to match the gifted vision. Asynchronous development is common in giftedness, this means that some aspects of development have matured beyond age expectations, like vocabulary, academics, or abstract reasoning, while others, like fine motor skills, social skills, or emotional development may fall below age-expectations. But the adults may see the academic brilliance, and assume social, behavioral, and emotional skills have reached the same potential. So when the child does not behave as expected, the assumption may be they are willfully making bad choices, that there is a moral or disciplinary issue, and respond in a harsh, punitive, critical manner. Then they get mad all over when the child responds to them or classmates in a similar manner. Yucky cycle.

The gifted child may also have awareness that some of their school work is pointless for them. They may intellectually be able to grasp how things should be, to develop adult kinds of worries, but lack the emotional maturity to cope and lack the adult voice and authority to do something about imperfection and worry concerns. You might see them getting corrected and disciplined for correcting adults, and argued with for arguing. Some of these kids, like with autism, see themselves on the same level as adults, they do not perceive the hierarchy in adult-child relationships. Some may in instances actually be smarter than their parent or teacher. Imagine their experience. How unfair!

Let’s say you have ADHD, so you find yourself out of synch with others, missing instructions, not doing an assignment right. Your impulsivity leads to blurts that you immediately regret so you walk in shame the rest of the day.

Or you have autism, so you have delays in the development of; social understanding, perspective-taking, language-based communication, flexible thinking patterns, and emotional recognition and management skills. It probably seems like everywhere you go, everyone is telling you what to do, how to do it, correcting you, constant nagging and criticism. Remember children on the spectrum tend to imitate adult social interactions rather than age-peers. Add the perfectionism; perfect formula for failure to a degree that could be traumatic.

Now what if we have two or more of these conditions, say a gifted autistic child with ADHD, dyslexia or dysgraphia, and trouble tempering perfectionism? This could be a person who really deserves special help and consideration, as do we all.

What are the factors researchers are indicating that lead do perfectionism problems?

• Increased social media use and comparing self to others
• Becoming a pleaser and pursuing all A’s in early childhood
• Parent and teacher praise focused on outcome rather than effort- it’s better to praise effort, tenacity, resilience than making an A.
• Increases in number of students going to college
• Social anxiety
• Increasing competition in academics, business, and financial markets
• Painful or traumatic childhood experiences

Is perfectionism increasing, how common is it?

One of the most quoted studies in the literature about perfectionism is a meta analysis by authors Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill looking at about 46,000 college students in the US, Canada, and UK. They found that between 1989 and 2016, self-oriented perfectionism scores increased by 10 percent, other-oriented perfectionism increased by 16 percent, and socially-prescribed perfectionism increased by a whopping 33 percent. Link to the study.

Other studies indicate that about 2 of every five kids or teens in the US currently struggle with perfectionism.

Part 2- Gifted, Autistic, Strategies for Tempering Perfectionism

Gifted Autistic Tempering Perfectionism Strategies

Teach “How to fail successfully”

I like to preface this by explaining that the most successful people are the ones who fail the most often and the fastest. They understand how to “fail up.” Successful people cultivate a special attitude towards failure. They realize that failure is part of the process of success, a stepping stone on the path. Each failure gets them one more step towards success. Each failure informs them about one more way their idea doesn’t work. Success with a new idea usually means a process of trial and error, attempts resulting in strategy eliminations until a successful effort occurs. Think about Edison and the light bulb. Did you know that he engaged in over 10,000 failures before developing a commercially viable light bulb? You know what he said? “I have not failed 10,000 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 10,000 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.”

What is a successful failure?

• you learn something, like what does not work
• you realize you eliminated one way that didn’t work and brought yourself one step closer to finding what will work
• you try harder
• you adapt and try another way, even if you have to resort to googling answers or, god forbid, asking for help
• you decide this path was not for you, say thanks for letting me know, let it go and move on to focus on something else
• you hate yourself forever for the mistake and never try anything again- nah! just kidding of course. If this is really where you go it might be time to tell someone else and consider yourself important enough to warrant some extra help.

When I was training people to do market calls, we looked at the ratio of calls to succeeding in getting an order. It came out to one order for every 30 calls. A perfectionist would dread the no’s, the failures. I encouraged the marketing staff to hurry up and pick up the phone without thinking, hurry up and get those 29 no’s so you can get them out of the way and get to the yes. I’ve even applied this reasoning to teens worrying over finding romance, a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Teach and practice forgiveness. Forgiveness of self, forgiveness of others. Forgive and let go. A local Native American Indian shaman once taught me that the people who inhabited the place I live for around 12,000 years before white people showed up had a word for forgiveness. It meant to untie oneself, and was regarded as a gift you give to yourself.

Mindfulness- a process of learning to step back from yourself and become aware of what is going on with you. “I’m getting upset. My heart is beating faster. I need to do something to calm down.” “I’m being overly critical of myself. I need to encourage me by thinking about my strengths, telling myself it will be okay.” Begin by identifying your signs that a stress or emotional response is starting. Watch for those, and take a pause to reflect on yourself before taking action.

Gratitude- Make a list to keep focused on the good stuff. Make it a habit to review your list once or twice a day at a regular time. At breakfast. Night right before bed. Use a dry erase and write it in the mirror you look in while you brush your teeth. I’m grateful for my family, my friends, a roof over my head that doesn’t leak, food in the pantry, comfortable bed to sleep in every night, water, air, etc.

Self-compassion- learn to be good to you. This means in your self-talk. Be a good friend to yourself. This does not mean self-indulgence.

Teach the power of thought, and where feelings come from. It’s not what happens that makes your feelings, it’s the thoughts you make about what happens. Your thoughts are so powerful, they create your experience of reality. If you think you can’t, you are probably right. If you think you can, you are probably right. If you think it’s horrible, you feel horrible about it. Nobody can make you feel anything. They can’t get inside you, make you think certain thoughts, elevate your blood pressure, make your heart beat faster or your muscles tense. Only you can do that.

Your brain is making thoughts all the time, right? Would you agree that some of them are true, and some are not? So then the smart thing to do, would be to start noticing the thoughts that are not true or wanted, replace with thoughts that are more true or desirable, right? Then you would be using your smart brain in smarter ways, making you smarter, and helping you feel the way you want to more often. Would you be okay with learning to be smarter and feel happy more often? Try this document for teaching and reinforcing this skill?

It is actually a page from my book, Counseling Tools for Kids in Schools. It has thoughts that should really hit the mark with this population, such as “If other people don’t follow the rules, it is my job to correct them.” “Mistakes are horrible.” “Mistakes are normal and help me learn.” “Everyone should like me.” Participants are instructed to state whether each statement is true or false, or indicate by thumbs up or thumbs down, if you have a reluctant participant on your hands.

Also from my book, a metaphor for teaching the power of and over thoughts, Garden of the Mind, and a video/free course, in these two articles about working these issues with children or teens:

Teaching Emotional Control and the Power of Thought

Metaphors for Teaching Children about Power in Feelings, Relationships, Teasing, and Bullying

For Adults, Relationships, Feelings, Learning Your Power

Grant freedom- it is a free country, right? This is a choice I like to point out when someone is stuck on another person’s behavior, repeating the thoughts about that person which maintain an unwanted emotional state, or stuck on trying to make someone act differently, or insistent another change a belief or opinion to align with the person who is stuck. Free yourself by granting others the freedom to think and act as they please, let them be wrong, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone. You can maintain a relationship with them, if you choose, and disagree in an appropriate way. You do this through active listening. You simply restate what the other person said, and then if you like, you can state your opinion or belief without trying to make the other agree with you. “Oh, you think Hillary Clinton would be a better president than Trump? Ok. I see it differently, I think Trump would be better.” Sometimes a person with autistic traits might get really stuck, this is called perseveration, which can begin a cycle of repetition that escalates creating increasing anxiety and possibly a meltdown, aggressive, or self-injurious behavior. Here is an article about that, Perseveration Station.

Keep a journal. Now that awareness of how perfectionism impacts you has been created, watch for it. Make notes of what you notice and the successful efforts you make to keep yourself in a good place, like what you say to yourself, how you redirect or distract your thoughts, actions you take, repairs you make in relationships.

More Gifted Autistic Tempering Perfectionism Strategies:

What about the exhausting banter in my head all the time, which way is best, what should I do, how can I figure out what will work before I end up wasting time by trying something that doesn’t work? Try to remind yourself that most errors are not fatal. It’s okay if you don’t pick the very fastest route from point A to point B every time. You can absorb the loss of a few minutes, or the time it takes to try out something that may not work. Nobody is clairvoyant. At least probably not, and you are not required to be. Talk it out with someone you trust. Sometimes just hearing yourself say it out loud gives relief, thinking out loud can help you make decisions, and the other person may have helpful ideas for you. Write it down and read back over it. Stop thinking about it for awhile, and trust your brain to make a good enough decision in time, and know that we sometimes get good ideas even when we were not aware of thinking about a problem at all. Try thinking in terms of plan A and plan B. First I will try… and if that doesn’t work then I will… as a way to get your brain off the idea that you have to make the right choice the first time. Learn to use the Problem Solving Template:

Expand your awareness of irrational beliefs. Make an “I should” list based on this exercise from My Power Book. Write down all of the things you think you should do in the various roles you play. As a student I should…, as a brother I should…, as a parent I should.., and so on. This will help with recognizing when someone has a humanly unreasonable list of “shoulds” they feel they must fulfill, and maybe realize their expectations are unreasonable and need to be adjusted.

Build your confidence by creating and reviewing your list of accomplishments.

Success Story– the problem with the problem, the problem with not generating a clear desired outcome goal.

Escape the trap of thinking you have to do everything yourself and never need help. Do successful people seek help? Do they have advisors, mentors, allies, coaches, counselors, shamans, mystics?

Practice making mistakes on purpose. For a kid who has meltdowns over small errors, get them when they are calm and have them misspell a word over and over with an appropriate response like a wry smile and “whoops.”

Calm yourself using the affirmations for fears, or pick one to memorize as a mantra to drown out unwanted worrisome thoughts.

Consider what can you do unblend, your tendency to equate your performance and how others think of you with who you are and your self-worth.

Working with a teen struggling to choose a career or college degree plan? Remind them there is no way really to know if a job or field of study is right for them until they try it. Call on personal experiences of trial and error with jobs you might have had that you didn’t like as much as you thought you would, and how those led to finding the best place for you. Google stories of famous people detailing the list of failed attempts they endured on the path to success.

For kids from age 4-10 who have rigid thinking patterns, maybe they are gifted and/or autistic, maybe not, check out the Superflex curriculum by Michelle Garcia-Winner at socialthinking.com

Worst case scenario- filled with dread of doom? Evaluate if your degree of concern is warranted by answering what, in the worst case scenario, is the worst thing that could happen?

Use the Dream Book strategy to help make choices of long-term goals and generate some passion, clarity, and motivation.

and if that is still not working…

Consider adding some good helpers to your team. Maybe a counselor, coach, doctor, psychiatrist, or psychologist.

Some of the more clinical categories may also be coming into play, making gifted, autistic, or otherwise tempering perfectionism difficult. Some of the clinical categories may have pre-dated the perfectionism, or, perhaps more likely, perfectionism started first, got worse, unhealthy habits began, which have worn away mental health to the point of meeting criteria for a diagnosis. Some of the categories that may blend or overlap with traits of perfectionism include obsessive-compulsive disorder, an anxiety disorder, depression, or personality disorder such as Narcissistic, Borderline, or Obsessive-compulsive Personality Disorder. These can be tough to endure alone, if you think there could be a mental health condition why not go ahead and get an objective professional opinion and help right now.

If I’m talking to a fellow sufferer of perfectionist problems, you might not want to read what comes next. Maybe this hasn’t happened to you yet in which case I bet it will. You start researching a diagnostic category. You have unanswered questions about yourself or someone else. Maybe it’s gifted, but then you read about aspergers, or high-functioning or mild autism, and then you start thinking, wait a minute- which is which? Do I have a sandwhich? Is it someone between or having traits of both? Do they have both? Are both wrong since these categories don’t capture the whole person. Maybe it’s some elaborate conspiracy. Like the Emperor’s Clothes. By some mutual agreement, everybody acts as if there is something there when there isn’t. Invisible clothes. Well, I’ve been down this rabbit hole a few times before.

My message here, especially to you the perfectionist, is don’t expect any perfect answers about human behavior and ways to predict and manage it. Just buckle up and try to anticipate the surprises with awe, surprise, and wonder.

My opinion is you treat categories, labels, and diagnostic categories- wait- I got that backwards. I believe you will do better treating people than treating the categories, labels, and diagnoses. Treat both with temperance, and that latter three, use them as a category to refine a search for good answers you can use to solve real problems or make things better. If a diagnosis or educational classification for special services can help evaluate what is going on and what can be done, as well as create openings that helps access therapeutic interventions. Having said that, people and our systems for categorizing and diagnosing people are imperfect. Take what you hear with a grain of salt, a visit to a healthcare professional can still be helpful even if you disagree with some of what they have to say or diagnose. If you take a complex individual, I think especially a kid, to several healthcare professionals, and I’m counting myself as one, you may get as many different diagnoses. Imperfect systems, categories, evaluation tools, people. That doesn’t dictate a tragedy, it can be part of one, but doesn’t have to. It’s good to get more opinions sometimes if what you have to consider is really important. Then you decide, what is true, or maybe more importantly, what you will do, which you can do, even when you don’t know what is true, except what you have decided to do.

I hope you found this article, Gifted, Autistic, Tempering Perfectionism helpful. If you have more ideas to contribute, feel free to email me at bradmasonlpc@aol.com

More articles on this site you might like:

Archive of the Struggle of the Gifted Child articles, resources by topic

Autism/Aspergers links, course, and resources

Mild Autism What to do

Counseling Techniques for Autism and ADHD

Teletherapy- book an appointment with Brad Mason, LPC, LPA, LSSP in Texas

Links to some of the good articles and research I read to make this post:

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180219-toxic-perfectionism-is-on-the-rise

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/perfectionism

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/teen-angst/201807/perfectly-imperfect

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/experimentations/201909/7-signs-you-may-be-oblivious-your-perfectionism

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/turning-straw-gold/201806/how-overcome-your-perfectionist-tendencies

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201801/is-the-perfectionism-plague-taking-psychological-toll

https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-may-be-a-perfectionist-3145233

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-perfectionism-is-ruin_n_4212069

https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2017/06/25/9-signs-youre-a-perfectionist-and-thats-not-a-good-thing/#36c9669d5ca3

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-seven-costs-of-perfec_b_462338

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindful-living/2010/07/cutting-the-costs-of-perfectionism/