Below find a review of ADHD best treatment practices which include the following:

• Self-esteem
• Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy
• Behavioral Therapy and Parent Training
• Organizational and Planning Skills
• Coping Skills- Emotional Awareness and Self-control
• Social and Social Thinking Skills
• Executive Skills
• Lifestyle Strategies
• Sensory Integration, Proprioception, Fine Motor Intervention
• Comorbid Anxiety, Depression, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, CAPD
• New FDA approved device
• Video Games

Self-esteem ADHD Best Treatment Practices

Studies show that the greatest risk ADHD poses to someone with ADHD is the development of a low self-esteem. Our self-esteem gives us confidence to persevere and cope with disappointments and frustration. Psychoeducation means we can teach the mechanics and meaning of ADHD, review an individuals profile of strengths and weaknesses, and explain that ADHD does not mean you are lazy, crazy, or stupid. People with ADHD often excel in thinking outside the box, creative and artistic endeavors, inventions, and business entrepreneurship.

Recently I worked with a little boy who drew this picture. Up to this point he stated that he saw himself as half-good and half-bad. His teacher said she could always tell at the start of the day if he was going to have a good day or a bad day. So I initiated conversation with him about his inherent goodness, his challenges and efforts, created a graph to visually represent the amount or ratio of time he was good.

He made this dragon-graph 1-5 scale (below) as a morning check-in so he could easily indicate his readiness to be a good and calm learner. If he wasn’t at a 1 or 2, he could take a little time to draw and settle down to be ready. Two weeks later, his teacher reported he had been great, having some near-perfect five-star days. His parent reported great improvement at home. Our thoughts about ourselves can greatly influence how we conduct ourselves.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy

Often called CBT for short, this type of ADHD best treatment practice involves building awareness of self-defeating and destructive thought patterns. This can help build self-awareness, abate procrastination (“I can do this later”), assist with attitude and emotional control, and maintain a positive self-esteem despite struggles setbacks and negative feedback from caregivers.

There are categories of thinking errors that can be learned, and practice replacing negative or irrational thoughts can happen in the office and at home. These categories include such illogical automatic thought patterns as psychic predicting (I know what is going to happen, and it’s going to be bad), overgeneralization (I never do anything right), and extremism or polarized thinking (If it’s not perfect it’s terrible).

Behavioral Therapy and Parent Training

Yep, you guessed it. The success of behavioral therapy is largely dependent on what parents and teachers do either before or after target behaviors occur. This means parents or teachers are given training in how to train behavior! Expected behaviors are written down, checklists may be used, rewards identified as well as consequences.

Charts may be used to track progress or token economies such as a credit system may be implemented. People with ADHD commonly get more negative feedback than their neurotypical peers, so special attention is placed on rewards and encouraging words. Parents can ask questions and review responses to new ideas tried for fine-tuning and replacements for what doesn’t work.

In my 30 years of researching and providing ADHD best treatment practices, behavioral therapy can be one of the fastest and largest treatment effects. Why? Because we are working to create motivation and encourage effort. When someone is very motivated, they can at least for a short while overcome whatever obstacles and do well. With repeated practice the skills used for success become stronger and more automatic.

Organization and Planning Skills

ADHD best treatment practice will usually place some attention on developing better organization and planning. This may include getting one planner that includes all assignments and events and when they are due, or using a smart phone, and planning when items will be worked on and finished with automated reminders.

In addition, setting a timer to go off every 15-30 minutes may be used for a self check-in to notice if one is on track and working as intended or distracted, building greater self-awareness and attention. A parent can assist by working with a student to review assignments and tasks, have the student estimate how long each will take, setting a timer, and recording how long each task actually takes, building time management and task monitor skills.

A general rule of thumb is plan to do the worst first and save the best or easiest for last. This is because willpower and persistence fade over time. Breaks can be planned and timed, rewards for completion identified. The study space should remain the same place because people with ADHD tend to be stimulus bound- the environment triggers certain behavioral sets.

Distractors such as video games and social media can be removed. A student can experiment with which sort of lighting is preferred, type of body position; chair, beanbag with a clipboard, laying on stomach. Working with background sounds such as classical music or silence can be tried as well as scents that help with calm or alertness. Backpacks and study areas can be organized. Often people with ADHD start well with a new plan but they fall off after a week or two. A coach can be utilized who may call or text a few times weekly to help monitor and keep a person on track as intended.

Coping Skills for Emotions

Having ADHD can be stressful. Often people with ADHD can be quite sensitive to setbacks and criticism. ADHD best treatment practice can include teaching emotional recognition and management skills. We can make a plan for recovering from a bad moment so it doesn’t turn into a tantrum or bad day.

Tools for fixing unwanted feelings can be assembled in a menu or toolbox by categories such as thinking tools (It’s not a big problem it’s a little problem, it’s okay I CAN handle this, everybody makes mistakes), social tools, activity tools, relaxation tools, and inappropriate tools- things the person may do sometimes that don’t fix the problem or make things worse. We may choose from menus what our stress triggers are and stress signs, meaning how do we know when a stress response is beginning before it escalates and is too late.

I like to use 1-5 scales to identify these domains in gradations, and help notice when we are at a 2 or 3 because once we get to a 5 the fight or flight response is triggered, our thinking gets impaired, and we probably will need some recovery time before we can go back and reason through the triggering problem.

https://intensivecareforyou.com/category/emotional-control-anger-anxiety/

Social and Social Thinking Skills

Sometimes someone with ADHD has difficulty socializing and behaving in a group in expected ways. This can result in others being surprised and confused by unexpected behavior, resulting in weird and uncomfortable thoughts, then others may not be very nice or exclude the person who fails to behave in expected ways. Many of the rules and expectations for social behavior are “hidden rules,” not written or normally explicitly taught, which we can explain, illustrate, and practice.

It can be for some people with ADHD as if they have a learning disability in social skills. They may exhibit some but not all traits of Autism. Basically social skills mean you learn to monitor others for how they are thinking and feeling about you, and you modify your behavior to keep others having good thoughts and feelings about you. I learned some of this language from Michelle Garcia-Winner, she has great instructional materials and curricula on her website socialthinking.com.

It is my belief that having friends with age-peers involving face-to-face interactions, and feeling like we are part of a group, even if it’s small, is key to having good mental health. No friends, no group = no mental health. And sorry but no, I don’t believe online friends count. Better than nothing, but not enough.

Sometimes I have greater success teaching social thinking concepts using a comic book format filling in each progressive box starting with a problem, an unexpected behavior, or an expected behavior, using thought bubbles and speech bubbles and prompting my person to predict how others will think and feel based on their behavior, the consequences they experience, and how they feel about the consequences. I call these success stories and sometimes start a binder to keep genuine success stories where obstacles are overcome for later review to emphasize the success and progress.

Executive Skills

ADHD best treatment practices may also place some focus on identifying underdeveloped executive skills. These are the thinking skills involved in organizing behavior in the pursuit of a goal. Like the conductor of the orchestra of your behavior. Executive skills, or sometimes called executive functions, can include the following:

• inhibition or impulse control
• attention
• working (short-term) memory
• planning
• organization
• metacognition- the ability to think about what you are thinking about
• task initiation
• flexibility
• time management
• perseverance

Identified underdeveloped executive skills can be either compensated or remediated. For example, poor working memory can be supported with a checklist of tasks to complete before, say, leaving for school, this would be a compensatory strategy. A remediation approach would involve short daily sessions exercising and building short-term memory. Research strongly supports these skills are not fixed, they can be fixed, or improved, resulting in much greater academic achievement results.

Lifestyle Strategies

Lifestyle strategies for ADHD and related conditions consist of habits or everyday proactive practices that put us in a better place to begin with for dealing with demands and stress. The three main pillars of our health are sleep hygiene, diet, and exercise. Think of a stool with three legs. Knock one out and the whole thing falls.

Did you know that clinical trials have demonstrated that 25 minutes of aerobic exercise three times per week are equally effective for treating anxiety and depression symptoms as any pill you can take? Plus the side effects are more energy, feelings of well-being, physical health, improved brain function, and longer life. A healthy diet means avoiding processed foods, regular meals and snacks, fruits and vegetables. Organic please, studies show that as many as 46 different pesticides can be on fruits and vegetables you buy at the grocery store, which have been directly linked to the formation of ADHD.

Supplements like fish oil, B vitamins, and magnesium can help. Sleep hygiene means going to bed and waking the same time every day. Additional practices shown to help manage ADHD symptoms include meditation, yoga, getting out in nature. Socializing, play, and the pursuit of a hobby or passion such as music can also improve quality of life and overall well-being.

Sensory Integration, Proprioception, Fine Motor Intervention

While there are some things a counselor can advise parents and educators to do to help with these problems, the best therapy if these issues are prominent is occupational therapy. People with ADHD can have sensory hyper or hypo sensitivities to sound, light, textures, touch, tastes, or smells. We can make accommodations like noise-cancelling headphones for sound sensitivity.

Sensory integration means the brain’s ability to receive sensory inputs and organize them into meaningful categories and packets. Poor sensory integration can result in a person becoming easily overwhelmed and very disorganized in stimulating environments such as a classroom for of people. It may also mean difficulties with balance, fine motor control, trunk strength. One accommodation would be to program some heavy work activities into the daily schedule.

Proprioception is how we know where are bodies are located in relation to objects and people, and if we are safely positioned. Signs of difficulties include dragging a hand on the wall when walking down a hall, stepping on the heels or toes of others, falling out of chairs, constantly touching everything around, rolling around on the floor instead of sitting upright and still. A weighted vest or blanket may be used to provide more sensory input so the brain gets enough to know it is safely and comfortably positioned. Sensory Screener https://sensorykids.ie/en/sensory-integration/sensory-integration-screening-questionnare/

Comorbid Anxiety, Depression, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, CAPD

Because these can often present along with ADHD, ADHD best treatmenmt practices should involve some awareness and evaluation for the presence and treatment of these conditions. If signs are present a referral for more formal evaluation and intervention may be in order. Of course if you tended to be impulsive and distractable, making silly errors, and being criticized or laughed at, you would be more prone to developing anxiety or depression.

Some signs of dyslexia would be refusal to read out loud, poor progress in reading, headaches, car sickness, very slow reading speed, inconsistent spelling patterns, and left-right confusion. Like ADHD it could be important to point out that being dyslexic does not mean you are stupid.

Dysgraphia means having difficulty with letter formation and written expression. Poor legibility, very large letters, words run together without consistent and proper spacing, failing to complete written assignments would be signs. Occupational therapists also can help develop fine motor skills, the Handwriting Without Tears curriculum can be implemented, and typing or talk-to-text can be allowed.

CAPD or central auditory processing deficit means having difficulty discriminating speech sounds into meaning in the presence of background sounds. Speech therapists can assist with this and there are programs to develop this ability such as Fast Forward.

New FDA Approved Device eTNS System

Available by prescription only, this device provides low level electrical stimulation via electrodes attached to the forehead during sleep stimulating the trigeminal nerve. Intended for children aged 7-12, a clinical trial of four weeks yielded a significant reduction in ADHD symptoms. More than half of the children experienced some side effects such as fatigue, headache, increased appetite, some weight gain, and increased heart rate. See the link to an article with more information at the end of this article.

Video Games and ADHD Best Treatment Practices

ADHD best treatment practices would be remiss to dodge this problem. I say problem because frankly, the majority of problems and conflicts reported in my private practice revolve around video games. I could write a book about this issue and have made a documentary about the impact of digital culture on human development you can see on Amazon or your Amazon Prime account or participate in a video course.

I’ll keep it short here. It appears that people with ADHD are especially susceptible to the distraction of video games and digital media distractions. In addition more prone to becoming addicted. This means they are foregoing socialization, chores, work or school work, sneaking devices and off-limits access, disrupting family relationships and often becoming aggressive, abusive, self-harming, or making suicidal gestures efforts and statements all to get access, or, in addiction language, use. So do I think this is potentially a risky problem, yes.

Sometimes this becomes the only reinforcer someone will work for, or they simply demand to have it and refuse to do anything to earn it. Counseling can help navigate these stormy waters. Video games are often used as a way to encourage desired behaviors, I think they do disrupt social opportunities and development, the ability to delay gratification, and weaken attention span. At some point parents may find themselves asking if they should just take them away completely and end the recurring conflicts, but they have become dependent on them sometimes as well and they fear how a child or teen will respond if they do.

https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-therapy-for-adhd-5272434

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5014388/

Link to article about eTNS

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/07-08/adhd-children

I hope you enjoyed this article about ADHD best treatment practices. Questions or comments? Feel free to email me.

Brad Mason, LPC, LPA, LSSP

Brad@intensivecareforyou.com

The post ADHD Best Treatment Practices appeared first on Intensive Care for You.

Some of my child, adolescent, and adult clients have their sleep schedules turned upside down. Awake at night, worrying alone or playing video games, then sleeping by day and struggling with fatigue.

For many, the pandemic has disrupted normal routines and structures. Isolating at home, virtual work and school, interrupted social, exercise, and sleep practices, followed by increases in reported symptoms of depression and anxiety. These pandemic related factors have conspired against the maintenance of something we all need to face the day at our best, proper sleep.

Fortunately, there are effective methods to find sleep and treat insomnia to establish healthy sleep hygiene. Cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia is one of them. What follows is an outline of how it works.

What is CBTI?

A short, structured, evidence-based approach of 4-8 sessions to find sleep and treat insomnia.

Cognitive restructuring addressing anxiety and worries about sleeping.

Stimulus control to change associations with the bedroom and bed away from ideas of wakefulness and frustration- bed is used only for sleep, and maybe one other thing if you are an adult.

Sleep restriction- a log is created to determine how much time is actually spent sleeping, then that amount plus 30 minutes is maximum allowable time in bed.

Relaxation training- breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, autogenic training to focus on feelings in specific parts of the body such as warm, heavy, relaxed, meditation.

Psychoeducation- CBT process and sleep hygiene.

Techniques for calming an active mind when trying to relax and sleep.

Homework

Does it work?

Studies show up to 70% to 80% of patients with insomnia report improvements.

Recommended as the first-line approach by the American College of Physicians. Has been shown to be effective for children, adolescents, and adults.

Are there risks? Nothing major, but it may be uncomfortable confronting unhelpful thoughts, behaviors, past painful experiences.

Can it work for people with a mental health condition such as anxiety or depression? Experts say yes.

Effects of insomnia

Effects of insomnia include:

Memory issues

Trouble with thinking and concentration

Mood changes

Accidents

Weakened immunity

High blood pressure

Weight gain

Risk for diabetes

Low sex drive

Risk of heart disease

Poor balance

A few more strategies to find sleep and treat insomnia. And don’t forget to exercise!

Relaxation Tips

Get ready to relax

Progressive muscle relaxation

Meditations

https://www.healthline.com/health/sleep-deprivation/effects-on-body

https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-treatments/c/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-insomnia.html

https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-for-insomnia-cbti-3015310

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/insomnia/treatment/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-insomnia

The post Find sleep treat insomnia appeared first on Intensive Care for You.

In this article about Digital Diet for Children and Teens you will find:

-A discussion exploring the impact of common themes in digital media on our social and emotional development.

-Proposed methods for healthy technology management

-A template for a family media agreement establishing safe boundaries and consequences should they not be followed

-Pros and cons of digital media

-Resources for parents to use for managing children’s technology use

-Resources and discussion of video game addiction issues

-A list of non-violent, cooperative, and educational video games and shows/movies

-Tools for keeping kids safe online

Many of us think about how much time we or our children spend consuming digital media, are we as vigilant in considering a balanced diet when it comes to digital content? Maybe we set time limits, like no more than two hours of video games on weekdays, but what sort of ideas are we pumping into our minds?

For example, how much of what we watch and participate in contains acts of violence as a method to resolve conflicts? Consider popular superhero stories. You don’t see Batman saying, “Okay, I’m getting really mad at you villains’ criminal abusive acts. I don’t want to get violent, so I’m going back to my batcave to play with my tech toys until I calm down. Then we can sit down and work this out by talking like civilized people.”

Vengeance. You did that to me, now I will do this to you. Is this justice, or is this idea of justice what wars are based on? A sense of justice that says, it’s not right to hurt people, so since you did this to us, we are going to hurt you back with this… attack?

If the good guy wins, using the same methods against the villain that justified the attack response, does the idea of a good guy and bad guy just depend on which side you are on, while objectively both parties are using the same methods which they would say are wrong?

How many of our popular shows or video games model legal and ethical ways to treat other people and negotiate conflicts? Or do they demonstrate what we say we think is wrong and would land us in jail? Anger, fear, beatings, and murder, these are the same with or without “justification,” would we want to teach to justify these conditions, really?

If we are bothered by anxiety or depression, is watching apocolyptic…world-ending threats, barely-won battles fought at the extreme of endurance and vigilance… what is contained in the digital diet for children and teens that is forming their attitudes, beliefs, thoughts, and identity?

What if we continually expose ourselves to human scenarios relying on big conflicts for drama, tension, and interest? Would real life seem boring, could we be training our brains to anticipate tense frightening and even threatening human interaction scenarios? Would we be fostering social anxiety and teaching the world is a scary place, you have to be really careful or you might not be okay, people are not to be trusted and out to get you?

Unless you are trying to program soldiers who will be living in the world we say we want to be peaceful, fair, devoid of abuse and violence.

If we are feeling unimportant, unremarkable, unmotivated, unliked, is exposing ourselves to worlds of magic and super powers and mega-weapons going to help us appreciate our regular mortal selves? Can all children slip easily between a fantasy super-avatar in a fantasy world back to a regular self with normal human powers and limits? Or as the discrepancy between the fantasy self and real self widens, the video game avatar and indulgence supersedes homework and chore routines, grades drop, real social contact formation and maintenance is neglected, parents and teachers beseech and criticize, would some children become disappointed with their real self, avoiding criticism and disappointing reality by further burying themselves in their made-up world facilitated by the virtual reality of video games and virtual friends?

Below are templates I made for you to address and get specific about how technology and media will and will not be used at your house:

The following document summarizes some pros and cons of digital media based on research with a list of resources for further investigation:

If you are interested in exploring more information and studies about how digital media impacts attention, memory, thought, meta-awareness, and attitude, try googling “Six ways digital media impacts the brain.”

Below is a fairly comprehensive guide for caregivers to use with kids, teens, and college students, or for them to use for themselves, to regain engagement and motivation for self-care, academic involvement, and socialization:

Below is a link to an article I wrote for those considering if there may be an issue with video game addiction:

Video Game Addiction

I encounter many youth who are unable to resist the temptation to click into the rabbit hole of YouTube links or video games when they should be doing schoolwork or sleeping. I read a great biography about Steve Jobs, called Steve Jobs. In it he was quote as saying, while developing the ipad, with kids in middle school, that he would never give these devices to his kids to use unsupervised, because there was no way they could resist these temptations. He knew.

Here are a few non-violent, cooperative, and educational video games and shows/movies to help balance a digital diet for children and teens:

• Tools Up video game
• Moving Out video game
• Out of Space video game
• Twin Sprouts video game
• Pode video game
• Space Food Truck video game
• Juggle Panic video game
• Bleep Boop video game
• Shift Happens video game
• Superflight video game
• Cities: Skylines video game
• Abzu video game
• Floating Point video game
• Pix the Cat video game
• Captain Toad, Treasure Tracker video game
• If you google this topic, you can find many more!
• Below are just a few shows and movies with non-violent conflict resolution:
• Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
• Life is Sweet
• All or Nothing
• Secrets and Lies
• The Family Stone
• The Big Chill
• Gilmore Girls
• Aphablocks
• Cochameleon
• Ask the Storybots
• Blues Clues
• Dora
• Arthur
• Danger Mouse
• Again, there ARE many good options out there you can use to try to balance against often more popular programming where even the “good guys” are using violent means to resolve conflicts, and don’t have weapons and death as their schtick to attract and entertain.

Tools for Keeping Kids Safe Online

• Bark- can go on a phone and notifies you if certain risky keywords are detected in searches or texts, etc, such as sex or self-harm references
• Qustodio
• Kaspersky
• Net Nanny
• Ourpact
• Mobicip
• OpenDNS VIP home
• Websafety
• Cleanrouter
• Circle

I know kids are smart and can often circumvent any software you install for safety. In addition some school districts are handing out chromebooks or other devices, they are using YouTube as part of their instruction, and they won’t allow you to install your own filters. You can use a router-level filter at least at home. You can also put a cheap lamp timer on your router and set it to turn off at 10pm or whenever and come back on at a designated time in the morning. This means you can’t stay up and use it either.

Remember, garbage in, garbage out. We’ve all heard “You are what you eat.” To what extent do you imagine “You become what you see and hear.”

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/How-to-Make-a-Family-Media-Use-Plan.aspx

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/201804/the-best-technology-screen-time-contract-kids

I hope you enjoyed this article, Digital Diet for Children and Teens, and that you might use the information to improve the welfare of yourself and your family.

Brad Mason

The post Digital Diet for Children and Teens appeared first on Intensive Care for You.

Missing friends, trouble engaging with virtual school and work formats, feeling the blues?

Some of us are tempted to dwell and brood on our losses, failures, things we can no longer do with Covid restrictions in place. Maybe you feel anxious about things you can not control.

This guide includes:

-Perspectives and exercises to combat negative thinking by replacing with positive thinking

-Lifestyle and self-care practices that promote physical and mental health

-Methods to help organize priorities and choose exciting long-term goals, and make motivation

-Tips for staying focused and avoiding distracting temptations during work times

Student Loss of Joy and Motivation for School Positive Thinking Strategies

I propose we can find joy and success by focusing on what we do have, what we can do, rather than what we can’t, and asking ourselves “What is really important to me?”

Make a Gratitude list and review it every morning and at night before going to bed. These are things that you already have that you may not often pause to consider and take for granted. Click below to see a menu to get you started. You can click the words in red “Gratitude List” to open these in a new tab, or click download if you want to save a copy.

What are some positive, healthy thoughts we can make about living with covid restrictions?

The bonus of restricted options; while there are some things I can’t do right now, this leaves time for what I can do, makes it easier to decide since I have less options, what are some things I always wanted to do and may now have time and energy for?

Starting a new hobby, learning a new skill, organizing my space, painting a room, writing a book, building something, an opportunity to heal past traumas, starting an exercise routine, meditation?

Recognizing my ideas about the state of the world do not have to dictate the state of me and how I behave, I am free to behave as I choose, in accordance with what I think is right, and I alone am responsible for what I do, think, say, and feel.

Spiritual exploration and growth- seeking your best answers to “why am I here?”

Explore your values and consider what is most important to you. Below is a menu of possible values and goals. Choose which are important to you, then order your list by priority, from most to least important. You may realize some of the things you were giving a lot of time to or missing are not actually what the things most important to you. This will also help you decide how to spend your time and energy in the future.

Read this metaphor as an introduction to how you can begin noticing negative thoughts and replacing them with the positive.

Then try this list of rational, or reasonable, and irrational, or not reasonable thoughts to help yourself from caught up in thoughts that likely are not even true.

Great. Now you are ready to learn the categories of thinking errors. These will help you detect unwanted and incorrect thinking patterns. Your thoughts are very powerful, they create your experience and feelings. If you can begin correcting unwanted and inaccurate thoughts, you will be using your smart brain in smarter ways, making yourself smarter, and you will get to feel the way you want more often. Check out the thinking error list below, then try the practice, and finally use the thought record. Get ready to lose your student loss of joy and motivation for school by changing your thoughts about yourself and school.

The building confidence document above is a quick exercise in accounting and recognizing all the things you already have done and are doing. Below is a list of affirmations to calm fears and create a sense of safety and security. Some people like to choose or modify one to memorize and use as a mantra for self-soothing or meditation.

Lifestyle and Self-care Strategies

These involve creating a practice, a regular routine, to nurture a healthy mind and body. Developing the thoughts and mental states you prefer, replacing negativity, anxiety, depressive symptoms, with renewed energy, your sense of peace and security, your hope, confidence, and happiness. If you want things to change, you likely will need to change what you are doing. It doesn’t have to be all at once. A mile is walked one small step at a time. It’s okay to start small, so feel free to just try small manageable steps.

You may not know what might work, until you have experimented with a new behavior for a few weeks. You may need to try some things that don’t work for you before finding what does. This is okay. If you are not getting results from trying one thing, it doesn’t necessarily mean you didn’t do it right, it doesn’t mean you are a loser. Choose to say that you are not a loser, you are a learner. And you just got one step closer to finding what does work for you by eliminating an option.

You may find yourself thinking and thinking. Hmmm. What is the right thing that I should do? Your thinking alone will not give you this answer. You will need to try a guess and act on it to find out. I had a young man tell me just yesterday, “It feels like a blind leap.” Yes. You may need to push through your doubts, uncertainty, and fear, trying something anyway. Every time you do this, even if it doesn’t do for you what you hoped, you will find yourself feeling a greater freedom across your life.

Other care– being of service. When you do for others, whether its for the poor, the elderly, the young, or for dogs or cats, being of service teaches us the value we have to offer and helps us feel our value and see the evidence as proof that we are indeed valuable and have something to offer. It ends up being selflessly selfish. The internet will have lists of volunteering and service opportunities in your area. You can also be of service to friends or family, or at an animal shelter. You can also encourage others or make them smile over the internet, and keep your eyes open as you walk through life for any chance to help someone else or brighten your day. The light you shine will illuminate you.

Minimize the amount of disturbing news you expose yourself to. Garbage in, garbage out. The media tends to cater to your fears, arousing and maintaining them, to keep you glued to the set in order to keep your relationship with the threat. I liked to read the paper in my 20’s. It seemed as though World War III or nuclear holocaust was about to erupt in the Middle East any day. I found myself developing an apocalyptic worldveiw. We’re doomed! So I quit reading the paper. Instead I looked around, saw the gentle wind caressing the trees, sunshine, blue sky, flowers blooming, children laughing and playing. And guess what? The world didn’t end. Now I’m 55, and 30 years later, the papers and media still whisper, or shout, these dark and scary ideas. And right now, they still are not true. We are okay.

Regular play for fun- Yes play and fun are essential!

Regular social contacts

Regular sleep– I can’t say enough about the importance of this one. If this is a problem, consider taking proper sleep on first. Without this, it may be unlikely anything will work as well as could be possible. Student loss of joy and motivation for school would be expected if they can’t sleep decently! If you exercise vigorously daily you may sleep better. You can try melatonin, that’s safe. You can try shutting off screens an hour before bedtime. All that light tricks the brain into thinking it’s day and to stay awake. They do make apps that dim the screen light on your device to reduce these sleep defying qualities. Go to bed and get up at the same time daily if you can. This helps your body develop a rhythm and your brain to actually produce the chemicals that put you to sleep naturally at the time you normally go to bed. You can initiate a sleep study through your primary care physician to identify and treat issues that interfere with sleep. There are also apps that monitor sleep quality from your breathing sounds and generate a report so you can determine if a person is indeed having sleep issues and what they are.

https://www.lifehack.org/816199/best-sleep-tracker

Sleep hygiene- a list of practices that enhance sleep especially for people who tend to be restless such as folks with ADHD or Autism. The sleep script is a relaxation process for putting yourself to sleep.

Regular exercise. Did you know that studies show that regular exercise, usually a minimum of 25 minutes of aerobic exercise is as equally effective as any pill you can take for anxiety or depression? And look at the side-effects; stronger, more energy, better sleep, longer life, smarter brain, better feelings!

What else do you do for self-care? Hobby, … special interest, method of checking out and recharging?

Caregiver Stress Inventory- If you are a caregiver and feeling overwhelmed, confused, anxious, exhausted, or inadequate, or numb, check yourself using the inventory below. You know the saying, if the plane starts going down and the oxygen masks drop, put yours on first! How can you fully and best care for someone else if you don’t care for yourself properly?

Meditation– If this has not been your practice, here are a few things I want you to know. One, as little as five minutes of mediation have been shown to lower heart rate and other physiological signs of arousal and distress for up to 4-5 hours. That’s a great return on a small investment.

Two, meditation means you are exercising your dominion over your attention. If you haven’t tried this much before, however you try it, you may find that every 30 seconds or so you realize you have started thinking on a tangent away from your intended meditative target- be it repeating a mantra, keeping a quiet mind and focusing on breath, or holding an image. This is normal and okay! Remember you are exercising your dominion, or control, over your attention and thoughts, like lifting weights, it is a gradual process of building and strengthening.

Three, there are many acceptable ways to meditate. You don’t have to sit any certain way, but you can. You could also lie down, be doing yoga poses, or running. Below is a document outlining some quick easy ways you can start playing with to invoke, practice, and develop the meditative state. So could this also be a way to improve your ability to stay focused? Absolutely. Is it ever used in the treatment of ADHD to improve sustained focus ability? You bet.

Relaxation– There are so many ways to do this. It’s really a matter of letting your brain and body settle in it’s natural, not in fight or flight state. A warm bath or hot shower can do it. Some people who are just naturally wound up in their bodies, or have high muscle tone, sensory issues, Autism or ADHD may need to actually use their bodies as a way to relax and get thoughts and feelings to settle and organize. For these folks, a progressive muscle relaxation script can do the trick. You can guide a child to do this. You can use it before bedtime to get a tight active restless body to loosen up for sleep.

Counseling. Can you believe I almost left this one out? You never know what you might find out, what upgrades you might download into your system, what old no longer helpful patterns you might flush, by setting aside a little time just for you. There are many types of counseling, and many types of counselors. My advice is pick one you feel comfortable with. If you think they basically get you and you think they can help after a first meeting with them then that’s the one for you now. I offer virtual counseling via my practice website, the link is at the bottom of this page.

I do have a few words of caution about self-care, escape, and addiction. Balance and moderation. A glass of wine at night probably won’t hurt you. But a bottle will. A little video game as a distraction and temporary escape is normally perfectly healthy. Staying up all night playing is not. Isolating yourself and playing video games most of your time is not healthy, and yes, this can absolutely become an addiction. These games are made to be addicting and stimulate your reward centers in the brain. So wherever you run when you want to get away or avoid, make sure you don’t overdo it, and make sure you put it aside and run back. To your real life and your real people.

The signs of a possible addiction are simple. One, the activity interferes with some other necessary life function. Like sleep. Or work. Or school. Two, the activity interferes with relationships. Are you avoiding family members or having conflicts with them over your fun thing? Are you breaking rules and violating boundaries to get your thing? Are you hiding your thing from others or sneaking it when you are not supposed to? Finding yourself wanting to say no but repeatedly doing it anyways? Here’s your sign. No wonder you experience student loss of joy and motivation for school! An addiction can be a difficult, life-force sucking, guilt and anxiety provoking problem, and you may need to swallow your pride and get help to break it.

Video game addiction

ADHD Autism Video Game Addiction

Digital Culture and Child Development Video Course

https://intensivecareforyou.com/help-kids-in-times-of-crisis/

Student Loss of Joy and Motivation for School Methods for Setting Long-term Goals and Making Motivation

The Dream Book- this method involves getting a journal and writing down dreams you can come up with. Not dreams during sleep, more like goals and aspirations. Then select an image that goes with your dream, and put it in your book. Many of us have gotten better at knowing what we don’t want than we are at getting clear about what we do want in it’s place. Below find the document that details the Dream Book strategy, and then a menu of possible dream categories to inspire goals and intentions across multiple domains of your existence. This can be a powerful tool in first deciding and then creating what you want. When you have meaningful goals you are passionate and excited about, motivation is inescapable! Even for boring schoolwork, because suddenly there is an important reason for doing it! I’ve also written and published a work of art book, Your Dream Book.

Success Stories– here’s a quick little exercise that can help bypass obstacles and not knowing how to get where you want. What would be the opposite of student loss of joy and motivation for school? There’s where you should be sending your brain!

https://biglifejournal.com/blogs/blog/guide-effective-goal-setting-teens-template-worksheet

https://tailoringthegoodlife.com/goal-setting-for-teens/

Exercising and practicing our good feelings so we can be ready to imagine the greatness we can achieve can hinge on cleaning up the way we think and speak, removing hidden and implied semantics that create self-imposed limits on what we may be really capable of doing.

Exercising and practicing discipline in our thoughts and spoken words- see “non-violent communication” and “conscious language”

https://www.amazon.com/Conscious-Language-Discovery-Upgrade-Operating/dp/0978929128

I want to recommend this product at Amazon

Conscious Language: The Logos of Now ~ The Discovery, Code, and Upgrade To Our New Conscious Human Operating System
by Mastery Systems International
Learn more: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0978929128/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_51.0FbJC9NBQ3

https://www.cnvc.org/learn-nvc/what-is-nvc

Mindfulness or practicing being present

https://medium.com/age-of-awareness/the-difference-between-being-mindful-and-being-present-fe30d217ccf2

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/trauma-and-hope/201801/mindfulness-and-being-present-in-the-moment

Virtual School Focus Strategies

Tips for staying focused and avoiding distractions during virtual instruction

Set up a good space for yourself to work in.

 This can include:

            -Choose a source of light that best suits you, natural, incandescent, fluorescent, dim or bright.

            -Experiment with position- lying prone on a bed or floor, picking the right chair to sit in or ball to sit on, or bean bag chair, or standing at a higher table surface.

            -Picking the right space- are you better off in a room alone or in a common area with other people around? Does the social pressure of other people around help you stay true to your intention of staying focused and not getting off-task, off-screen?

            -Does a crunchy snack like popcorn help, did you know drinking through a straw or  sucking on a peppermint or chewing gum improves focus for most?

            -Make a plan and schedule for offline work. Decide when you want to start and finish, use a timer, use your smartphone and google calendar for deadlines and schedule reminders, set priorities and use the order of “worst first, best last” in ordering tasks.

            -Plan breaks, and use your temptations as a reward so you can remind yourself that you can do that fun thing as soon as you finish this part of your work.

            -Get yourself a coach. You could share your plans and schedule by including someone in your google calendar who can text you daily, or bi-weekly, to ask if you are sticking to your plan and staying on task.

            -Make some signs or visuals to yourself; sticky notes that say no video games until this is done, a picture of the reason you are doing this work, such as a job you want, an income, your own house, etc.

            -Consider background noise- are you better off in silence or with a tv on in the background or classical music? As you get used to the environment you are creating for yourself, all of these things, the place, the snack, the position, the background music, all these things will become cues that trigger your desired habits of working and focusing.

            -Try some aromatherapy. Vanilla or lavender can be calming. Lemon or peppermint can help you feel awake and alert.

            -Use a stress toy, a fidget, a rubber ball to squeeze.

            -Turn off notifications that distract and disrupt focus.

            -Keep your workspace clean and uncluttered.

If you find yourself getting sleepy or daydreaming during virtual instruction, get up! Stand, do some jumping jacks, run in place, get your heart pumping oxygen to your brain!

Decide how you will reward yourself for doing a good enough job. Do not allow your perfectionism to rob you of satisfaction and feeling good enough as you are when you miss a bit but have made a good effort and accomplished more than nothing.

Connect with your teachers or professors.

Develop and keep a routine. Work at the same place and times every day.

Take notes. This will help you thing about what is being said, and improve memory both from the act of writing it down and the deeper level of processing needed to summarize and paraphrase.

Save social media for after work times.

Practice good sleep hygiene. Keep it routine with the same bed and wake times daily.

Don’t forget to stay hydrated, eat a healthy diet, and exercise!

Wear headphones if you find background noises distract you.

I hope you enjoyed this guide for student loss of joy and motivation for school. You can also find more information in my blog on this site.

Children with special needs and behavior problems stuck at home without structure can push their parents to the edge. If you need more help than what is below, get more detailed how-to streamed video course instructions indexed and broken down into small steps with quiz questions and supporting documents and templates. I am offering 50% courses and ebooks bringing the course price down to $13.50. simply type the word covid into the coupon code box in your cart as you are checking out to apply the discount. Courses overview.

I do also offer virtual counseling via my practice site https://www.bradmasoncounselor.com/

The post Student Loss of Joy and Motivation for School appeared first on Intensive Care for You.

In this article, in the following order…

Deciding and dealing with virtual or in-person school under Covid protections

Tips for virtual schooling

Menu of off-line at-home activities for keeping kids busy and out of trouble

Managing screen time

Pros and cons of virtual counseling

How to know if your kids are doing ok

Keeping ourselves healthy in changing circumstances

Virtual or In-person?

How do we balance our children’s safety with meeting their social, emotional, and special education needs? Do we keep them home or send them to school so they can get unmet social interaction needs met? I had a teacher tell me the kids would have plexiglass on three sides of their desks and wear masks at school all day. Another teacher in a different district told me they formed a committee to decide how this would be done, but they hadn’t met yet. Still another shared that the students would still be doing a the virtual version of school at school with a teacher’s aide proctoring/supporting. Would it be worth it under these conditions?

I think we have little choice to make compromises, one way or the other. I do not think we can reasonably expect that IEP’s can be fully implemented. We are trying to figure these things out in an ever-changing scenario, making up and changing plans as we go. Our educators are worried too, they are earnestly working to do their best. We have little choice but to be patient. Virtual counseling, occupational therapy, adaptive PE, speech therapy, will these work virtually with younger students, students with ADHD, autism, intellectual disabilities? Maybe. We can offer incentives to students reluctant to engage with the virtual form of educational services, such as access to electronics or preferred food and snacks, which would be denied if the student did not make an effort to stay in attendance cooperating with the school staff. Consider that your child’s education is not a race. Most of our students are being held back, most likely, they may all have some make-up work and time to reach the expected levels of academic achievement.

In October I will be presenting, virtually unfortunately, for the Texas Association of School Psychologists a one-day workshop, Counseling Tools or whatever it’s called, look it up. I was speaking with Cassandra Hulsey, their president-elect, about what school psychologists (LSSP’s) are saying about virtual counseling and working in these Covid conditions. She reported that they are having trouble getting kids to even show up for scheduled related service counseling sessions. She also said that LSSP’s have concerns about the backlog of special education testing, initial evaluations and three-year re-evaluations. One of the problems, Cassandra explained, is that with students for many months not receiving the normal rigor of academic instruction, socialization, and with all the emotional stress of the changes, how would they say with certainty that being behind academically, or showing social/emotional deficits, is the result of a possibly life-long disability? Maybe it’s lack of educational opportunity, or a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances. So we have little choice, again, but to be patient with special education assessments getting done.

Complicating matters further, our testing norms are based on population samples from previous years when the populations had the benefit of more and better quality instruction. Some of the LSSP’s worry that their tests won’t be valid indicators of how current children compare to age-peers from previous school years; the old norms could differ significantly from what would be seen in testing scores based on our current and future populations. So they will be stuck with either saying someone has a lasting handicapping condition, such as a learning disability or emotional disturbance, so they can get specialized services, or they don’t, so they won’t get access to these services, because we can’t say with certainty that their current problems are not related to the restrictions put in place by public health concerns related to Covid-19. That’s a pickle. Sounds difficult to choose which is best, what we are left with is choosing which option is least bad.

Here is a virtual or in-person decision making tool from the CDC to help with this difficult choice; https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/communit…

When groups like families and educational institutions are faced with changes, uncertainty, and dilemmas like these, we can predict there will be emotionally charged conflicts in ideas about what is best to do. This makes it hard for us to work as teams and support one another, which is what we need to do. I hear the family law courts are really packed right now.

Tips for virtual schooling

Designated area for school work

Make a calendar and schedule, put in breaks

Don’t forget other activities, exercise and fun

Screen time limits

Expect glitches as online school platforms may initially be overwhelmed by the number of people logging on

Create contingencies for remaining engaged and completing work. Consult with an LSSP or behavioral specialist if needed. For details on creating an effective behavior management and discipline system, try the free course, Behavior Management Tips and Tools, at https://intensivecareforyou.com/resources-for-free…

The above link will also lead to quite a few emotional coping strategies and tools.

Menu of off-line at-home activities

The following link will lead you to a menu of off-line at-home activities for kids, how to speak with children during times of crises in developmentally appropriate ways, managing screen time, caregiver stress inventory with ways to cope, and some emotional coping skills like affirmations for anxiety, these can work whether you opt for virtual or in-person schooling:

https://intensivecareforyou.com/help-kids-in-times…

Pros and cons of virtual counseling: https://intensivecareforyou.com/wp-content/uploads…

How to know if your kids are doing ok

Some changes in behavior are expected as required. Here would be some warning signs that may warrant investigation:

Lethargic

Easily frustrated

Changes in sleeping patterns

Changing in eating patterns, especially with weight loss or gain

Withdrawn, won’t talk about it

Asking for help or refusing any help

Refusing to leave the home for any reason

Frequent conflicts, defiance

Rages, tantrums

Not finding pleasure in normally enjoyed activities

Difficulty with memory, thinking, or concentration

Increase in risky behaviors

Changes in appearance, lack of hygiene

Thoughts of suicide or not wanting to live

If you have concerns and can’t seem to connect with one of your kids to talk about it, consider involving a mental health professional to help with evaluation and intervention. If you are the parent and your gut says something isn’t right, trust your instincts. Younger children are often not able to identify what is wrong when they are stuggling, maybe they just show it in behavior. Older children are often reluctant or embarrassed to admit to having strange and disturbing thoughts.

Keeping ourselves healthy

Focus on what you do have and can do- what can we do now? Have any projects, interests, or hobbies you always wanted to try but never had the time for? Maybe now you do!

Remember that things are starting to get better. People are resilient and adapting to change.

Patience- Try to expect good things down the road, to think everything will be okay, and we don’t have to solve and do everything right now.

Exercise and get out in nature. We can still do this, at least.

Find some good books.

Make a family schedule/routine. Structure and habits create security, especially for younger children.

Sponser a creative family staycation.

Write letters or start a journal.

Reach out and communicate with friends and family often.

Try to remind yourself that you are healthy and safe, if that’s true and I hope it is. Count the blessings. Who else is safe and healthy that you care about right now? Are you living in a comfortable environment? Do you have food and water? Are your basic needs covered for now?

I hope some of this helps you get through your decision about virtual or in-person school and managing the effects.

Wishing you all the best and abundant health,

Brad

The post Back to School and Special Education Needs in Covid Times- Virtual or In-person? appeared first on Intensive Care for You.

I like to say there are three pillars that support the foundation of your physical and mental health. If you don’t already have these things going, many other interventions are less likely to be as effective.

1. Diet- Regular healthy meals 3 or more times daily. Steer away from processed and sugary foods, especially in the morning. Garbage in, garbage out. If you have ADHD, especially avoid high-sugar, high-carb breakfasts. Stick to protein, it will keep your energy and blood sugar more regulated. Try not to skip meals. If there is a tendency to skip and obesity is not a problem, eat because it’s good for you not because you are hungry or not.
2. Sleep. Create good sleep hygiene habits by going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time every day. This will get the body programmed to get sleepy at bed time, help eliminate sleeping problems, and make your energy levels and moods more predictable. Try a weighted blanket and white noise generator like a humidifier or a fan if you have a restless sleeper. Chronic sleeping problems? Contact your doctor and seek a resolution. I don’t know how you would act and feel your best if you can’t sleep.
3. Exercise. Regular time at least 3x weekly 25 minutes or more aerobic exercise has been shown to be equally effective as any pill you can take in clinical studies about anxiety and depression. No bad side effects, unless you count more energy, longer life, improved learning, better feelings. It’s okay to start with walking. ADHD? Consider 5-7 days a week for exercise.

Social context: Suffering and tragedy are part of the human condition. I think every person, regardless of their position in life, endures some of this. Having a group, some people you talk to face to face, helps us mediate this problem. We can whine, complain, vent, and finally joke about ourselves and our problems. The humor and camaraderie can a long way towards making life more livable.

Fine-tuning ADHD and mental health lifestyle strategies:

Calming Jar Meditation Tool

Gratitude- make a list of what you are grateful for in yourself and your life. Review it daily at the beginning and the end of the day to keep your focus off of what you may lack and your shortcomings.

• I’m creative
• I have a good sense of humor
• I have a healthy body with senses like vision and hearing that work
• I have a roof over my head that doesn’t leak
• Warm bed to sleep in
• Air conditioning
• Heat
• I’ve made it this far and I’m still okay
• Family who loves me
• What else?

Dream book– use this strategy to get clear on your goals that you have passion for, building motivation and relevance for boring everyday tasks like homework or laundry.

The idea of lifestyle strategies means creating regular, daily routines that put you in a better place to begin with, preventing the problems. Creating this kind of structure helps keep people with ADHD on track. The tough part, with ADHD, is not the creating part, we create all the time. What’s more difficult usually is sticking to the plan and routine, not getting side-tracked. It takes commitment and discipline to stick with a plan.

How can I stick with a plan, or get a kid to stick with a plan of ADHD and mental health strategies?

Set reminders in your phone or computer. Set the repeat for daily.

Get an accountability coach. Identify someone to remind and check in with you about sticking to your plan.

Create rewards. Withhold desired activities or materials until the plan is executed. Schedule fun things to do right after the work is done. First-then.

For younger children, create a visual activity schedule.

Remind yourself that to have a good day, to achieve and maintain mental health, this is required, not optional. Do it anyway even if you don’t feel like it.

Keep your space clean and organized. Practice OHIO. Only Handle It Once. When you get the mail, open it all, throw the ads and promotionals you don’t want into the trash, made a place out of sight for bills and other action items. Set reminders for your intended bill paying schedule. Don’t make piles of stuff to think about later that will clutter your space and end up hiding things from you that you meant to do. Feeling overwhelmed by homework or a pile of laundry to put away? Trick yourself into starting by saying “I’m just going to do the first problem,” or, “I’m only going to put away the socks.” Odds are once you get started you will keep going.

The post ADHD and mental health lifestyle strategies appeared first on Intensive Care for You.

Are you interested in helping kids stay busy, feeling safe, and out of trouble? I put together this Coronavirus Kid Care Kit, some articles, links, and youtube videos. Please feel free to share this with anyone you know who wants help for kids in times of crisis.

Children with special needs and behavior problems stuck at home without structure can push their parents to the edge. If you need more help than what is below, get more detailed how-to streamed video course instructions indexed and broken down into small steps with quiz questions and supporting documents and templates. I am offering 50% courses and ebooks bringing the course price down to $13.50. simply type the word covid into the coupon code box in your cart as you are checking out to apply the discount. Courses overview.

Menu of offline at-home activities for kids:
https://intensivecareforyou.com/menu-of-offline-at…

How to talk to kids in crisis- developmentally appropriate ways of reassuring kids by age groups
https://intensivecareforyou.com/how-to-talk-to-kid…

Managing Kids Screen time, Video Games at Home Youtube

Coronavirus Behavior Problems Kids Stuck at Home Youtube

Behavior and Counseling Resources for Free webpage with documents and

mini-courses to help manage behavior and teach emotional control plus

more
https://intensivecareforyou.com/resources-for-free…

caregiver-stress-inventory Sometimes we forget to address the needs of the caregiver. Use this to identify needs.

how-can-a-caregiver-care-for-themselves

List of Affirmations to Calm Fears

• I trust that life supports me. I am safe.
• I am safe. I trust the process of life to bring only good to me.
• I am always safe and protected.
• I trust the universe to provide all that I need.
• I release all fears. I am safe.
• I trust the process of life to take me to my higher good. I am safe. All is well.
• I am ably supported by the universe.
• Life will always provide for me. It is safe here. All is well.
• No person has any power over me. I am free.

List of Affirmations for Anxiety

• All is well in my world.
• I am always safe and guided by my higher self.
• I lovingly allow change into my life and trust in my higher good.
• I am lovingly supported by the power that created me.
• I invite peace and harmony to dwell in me and surround me at all times.
• I trust my inner voice. I am at peace.

List of Affirmations to Promote Peace and Relaxation

• Divine peace and harmony surround me and dwell within me.
• I am relaxed and peaceful because I trust the process of life. All is well in my world.
• I release, I relax and let go. All is well in my world.
• I am becoming calmer with every deep breath that I take.
• I am calm and relaxed.
• I am at peace. I am calm. All is well.
• I relax completely for I now know I am safe. I trust life and I trust myself. I am cool, calm and collected.
• Every breath I inhale calms me and every breath I exhale takes away tension.
• I love myself deeply and unconditionally. Every cell in my body is relaxed and oozes calmness.
• As the wonderful, soothing energy of the Universe enters my body, I accept myself completely and deeply, without any reservations.
• I am confident about solving life’s problems successfully.
• I am social and I like meeting people.
• All is well in my world and I am safe.
• With every breath, I release the anxiety within me and I become more and more calm.
• The future is good. I look towards it with hope and happiness.
• Life is wonderful. I trust in God/Universe to live a well fulfilled life.
• I overcome my fear of anything and everything and live life courageously.
• I acknowledge that the only constant in life is change and am prepared for it.
• I am free of anxiety and continue to do so.
• I am capable of protecting and caring for myself.
• My best dreams are going to come true.

For more help for kids in times of crisis, I also recommend this book, Emotional First Aid for Children:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0976320002/

I hope you stay safe and healthy!

Brad Mason, LPC, LPA, LSSP

PS Yes of course I am offering teletherapy to help kids in times of crisis via my practice site https://www.bradmasoncounselor.com/

Also don’t forget the 50% off coupon code for courses and books on this site is the word covid.

Garden of the Mind
Ten minute secret to eternal success:

Use this analogy to help kids in times of crisis by teaching the concept of how to change your feelings and behavior by changing thoughts, battle depression and anxiety, overcome obstacles, and create mental health.

Have you ever noticed how sometimes a garden has a fence around it? Why does it have a fence? Well, it’s there to keep the bad stuff out and the good stuff in, right? This is what fences are for. Fences are boundaries, keeping the good in and the bad out. Boundaries are something you create and maintain for protection. Good boundaries are a little flexible or permeable. Your cell walls are flexible boundaries, they let the good stuff in and keep the toxins out. Your skin is a boundary- they keep you inside; not you outside, they keep infectious bacteria out and let food and air in. Same thing with a fence, it still let’s air and water in for the garden to grow, but not deer and rabbits who will damage the garden.

Now, this all makes sense when we talk about a garden. For some reason, human beings tend to get this backwards when it comes to their thoughts. We tend to forget about all the stuff that is good and working right about ourselves and our lives, and focus, repeating over and over, negative thoughts, things we don’t like, what didn’t go well, what might go wrong, thoughts that cause us distress. Who is making those thoughts? Would it be helpful to have a conversation with the maker of our thoughts? Ask them to make thoughts of gratitude, review what feels good to think about, what is right about us, reassurance that we will be okay in the future, let go regrets of the past?

If we are to care for our mind, care for ourselves, like a good gardener would lovingly tend their garden, we would cast out the negative thoughts, the unwanted thoughts, the bugs and parasites, like weeds being thrown outside the fence of a garden.

Continuing to repeat and believe your negative thoughts is like watering the weeds in your garden instead of pulling them out. They grow fast and pretty soon, they crowd out all the good stuff and you will notice how prickly and uncomfortable they are. They will crowd out all the fruits and vegetables you truly desire.

If you like watermelon, and you would like watermelon to grow in your garden so you can enjoy it, what would you need to first do? Plant watermelon seeds, right? Okay, so that’s easy in a garden, just stick the seeds in the ground, pay attention to them by watering them and pulling the weeds, and watch what happens. Watermelons appear like magic for you to harvest, and oh, how sweet!

The process of making what you want to be true in your experience of reality is much the same. How do you plant the seeds of what you want to grow in the garden of your mind and your life? You begin by deciding what you want. You get as clear as you can about what you want, and you create a clear vision of what it looks like, feels like, how will your experience be different when your dreams come true?

I suggest creating a dream book. See the document I created for you called “Dream Book.” It’s in the free resources page on this site, or you can get the ebook with inspiring images and instructions. Get a nice book, preferably leather bound so it’s durable and can last, and write a dream you have on each page. Not a dream from when you are sleeping, but a dream that is a waking wish you have for yourself and your world. Then get images from magazines, photographs, or google images that best matches how your dream looks to you. Print it and paste it or tape it below the text you wrote about your dream. It’s okay if you pick two or three images. Every night before you go to sleep, and in the morning when you wake up, take a few minutes to look at the images and read through your dreams. Practice feeling how it would feel, as if the dream were already true. Know that these things will happen, that they are already happening. This is how you plant the seeds of what you want to grow in the garden of your mind, and this will help you make your dreams come true. Not sure if you believe me? Try it for two weeks and see what happens. What do you have to lose? Your fears and unwanted thoughts?

I also suggest after a week or two that you go back and rewrite dreams in the present tense. Rather than “I want to feel secure most of the time,” “I am feeling secure most of the time,” instead of “I want to make a million dollars,” “I am making a million dollars.”

Sometimes I ask people if they have heard the phrase “train of thought.” If they are kids they may have seen the movie “Shark Boy and Lava Girl.” which has a train of thought, literally, in it. Once they understand what train of thought means, I ask them where they are on their thought train. Are they in the caboose, just along for the ride, a victim of whatever thought their brain comes up with? Or are they the conductor or engineer, up in the engine of the train, able to slow down, stop, speed up, or change tracks if they don’t like where they are going? Where would they like to be?

When we want abundant produce we prepare the soil, pull the weeds and throw them out, and plant the seeds of the good things we want to see, feel, smell, and taste.

Your mind is like this garden, too. Except sometimes we get confused and keep the good thoughts out and the bad in. Tend the garden of your mind carefully, pull the weeds of negative, fearful, and unhelpful thoughts, and throw them outside the fence. Plant the seeds of your dreams and hopes, thoughts that feel good, by taking a few moments daily to reflect on your dreams and imagine them coming true in as much detail as you can. If a drought comes give them more water. If a freeze comes don’t lie in a bed of weeds and despair, pull out those weeds and plant some new seeds. Keep it up and you can’t help but be successful living in the garden of your dreams.

A few more links to help kids in times of crisis:

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Pages/Responding-to-Childrens-Emotional-Needs-During-Times-of-Crisis.aspx

If you have more good ideas or resources about how to help kids in times of crisis please feel free to share and I may add them here. bradmasonlpc@aol.com

The post Help Kids in Times of Crisis appeared first on Intensive Care for You.

Menu of Offline At-home Activities for Kids

Indoor Fun

Go thru closets make lists of games- pull out those forgotten Christmas presents to start your menu of offline at-home activities for kids.

Gather stuffed and plastic animals and make a zoo

Play hot lava

Organize a movie theater

Gather Legos, play-doh, and other construction items to build an indoor city

Write letters

Try out meditation apps

Charades

Make how-to videos

Put on a play or puppet show

Balloon volleyball

Water bottle bowling

Twister- if you don’t have the game you can make it with a little imagination

Dance party with freeze dance variation when music is stopped

Use TV viewing to build social skills- pause and ask questions like what do you think they are feeling, thinking, what will they do next? Point out clues in posture, facial expression, eye gaze.

Make a fort

Puzzle

Bubble bath

Car races

Kitchen fun

Make gak or slime

Make a cake and play with food coloring in the cake and frosting

String cereal to practice math

Cook together or assign rotating meal cooking duty

Bake to teach measurement

Arts & Crafts

Make paintings and drawings for an end-of-week art show

Create comic books

Gather up glue, glitter, popsicle sticks, pipe cleaners, tape, paper, scissors, whatever you have, and make animals or cars or buildings

Make jewelry

Make a collage or vision board

Paper airplanes see which flies farthest

Science Projects

Put an egg in vinegar and see how long it takes to dissolve

Dissect fruits and vegetables, identify their parts, then serve for lunch

Make a solar oven out of a pizza box. Saran wrap, and foil. Make a contest of who can guess how long it takes to get hot.

Make bubbles and bubble wands- 3 cups water, mix in half cup corn syrup, then one cup dish soap

Nature walk- see how many plants, animals, insects can be found and identified

Backyard fun

Water fun

Obstacle course-rocks to hop on, string to walk on like tight rope, create under, around, over,etc.

Heavy work activities

Sprinkler water hose squirt gun

Garden

Bird watching

Scavenger hunt

Make a sundial to track the sun’s movements

Pitch a tent and play camp

Hopscotch

Freeze tag

Related topics:

Activity Schedules– structure your children’s day to help them feel secure and keep them out of trouble

Games– fun games I use in social skills groups to teach play and social skills

Outside Games

Children with special needs and behavior problems stuck at home without structure can push their parents to the edge. If you need more help than what is below, get more detailed how-to streamed video course instructions indexed and broken down into small steps with quiz questions and supporting documents and templates. I am offering 50% courses and ebooks bringing the course price down to $13.50. simply type the word covid into the coupon code box in your cart as you are checking out to apply the discount. Courses overview.

Links- Add more to your Menu of Offline At-home Activities for Kids. Gameskidsplay.net has the rules for all those old-time outdoor games like ghost in the graveyard.

Mysteryscience.com

MathScore.com

Kidsactivities.com

Gameskidsplay.net

The post Menu of Offline At-home Activities for Kids appeared first on Intensive Care for You.

(Scroll down to see cute illustrated images of Success Story examples!)

The Success Story Strategy for anxious kids with autism is a way to help someone overcome emotional or behavioral challenges by focusing on the positive over the negative. They may have Autism, anxiety, ADHD, or other challenges. Success Stories are based on combined research and practice supporting the validity of video modeling, social stories, cognitive-behavioral therapy, solution-focused brief counseling, and narrative therapy.

Do you have to be a counselor or psychologist to use Success Stories? No, I think this strategy can be used by parents, teachers, grandparents, and any kind of therapist, any caregiver who wants to help someone who struggles. You can even use this technique for yourself. You could choose to capitalize immediately after a personal success in a situation that is often a struggle, as a reminder of past successes when someone is struggling, or a way to create a map for success in the future. Successes are first created as an imagined idea, before this vision is experienced. Just because we never had light bulbs before one was imagined and created didn’t mean we never would use electric light. Somebody had to imagine the possibility and act as though it were true before it became so.

Success Stories can be done at home, in school, or in a therapist’s office. We do them to empower, to energize success, improve quality of life, build skills, increase confidence. We do Success Stories to instill grace and faith over fear and criticism. Change can’t’s and won’t’s into can’s and do’s.

How does the Success Story strategy for anxious kids with autism work?

First, let’s start with the basics, then we can review several options for putting this great idea into action.

Here’s how I got started on the Success Stories idea. I had worked in Texas public schools as a Licensed Specialist in School Psychology for twelve years, then also became a Licensed Professional Counselor, so I could open a private practice serving families with children who have autism, ADHD, in addition to anxiety, OCD, and other types of mood and behavioral challenges. After about 30 years of practice you run into just about everything, and hopefully you stay on the lookout for new and better ways to help.

I was working with a little girl whose first priority in life was clearly not necessarily what other people wanted her to do. If you have been there you know what I mean. Changes, work, facing fears instead of avoiding, accepting no for an answer gracefully, being part of a group, meeting new people, sharing control in play, all of these activities might be treated with fear, fits, and refusal. Mind you, she often performed these tasks flawlessly, however, when children don’t do what is expected, we adults tend to inflate, negate, and overgeneralize to false statements and beliefs which can sound like “non-compliant, defiant, doesn’t follow rules, always has tantrums,” and the like. We should be careful, as such statements are like loading software onto their hard drives, programming them to do more of what we don’t want, making us seem like a mean and critical enemy to them, and robbing them of confidence instead of supporting, loving, encouraging, energizing.

This little girl is making some good progress, I often see people as capable of doing much better and I love love love when they prove me right. Let’s call this girl Suzy. Suzy is loved by her parents and extended family. They work hard to help her develop, to be comfortable, loved, and happy. One of them knows she would enjoy colored lights in her room, so they synch up a voice-activated device that will change the light colors on command. A bit of time and effort is put into the project.

One problem. Suzy is afraid of the device. She makes this known and when nobody is looking she cleverly hides the device in another room of the house. We talk about this in my office. We talk about how much fun Suzy could have dancing in the different colors of light. We discuss how much the family member who set it up would be pleased if she enjoyed it. I let Suzy know that I put the device outside my office on the front porch, and invite her to be brave and take a look at it. Suzy and I go out to the front porch, she decides to retrieve the device and bring it inside, and we play and chat a bit right next to Alexa.

Time for the session to end. Would she like to take it home and try it out in her room? “Yes I will.” Suzy declares. Fast forward to how did it go? She did it! I’m thinking, beautiful, it’s just a small thing, but a great template for dealing with fears and creating successes with all the future things Suzy is likely to encounter and have fears about. Like a job interview. Going to the prom. A big test. Dating. What would be a way to document her process, creating an anchor or reference point she can apply to overcome developing challenges?

Make a Success Story! Why not make a Success Stories book, and start a log of many successes to use a reference when troubles arise? I got a three-ring binder, with the clear pocket on the front so Suzy could color a custom cover. Suzy likes to color, and she is for her tender age a pretty great artist. We made a cover in my office, slipped it into the front jacket. I asked Suzy to make the story of how she was afraid (the problem), what it looked like when she was dancing in her lights (desired outcome), how her family felt when she did (perspective-taking), and how she got herself to the desired outcome (solution).

Here are some images of her work:

The next time I saw Suzy, she had not one but two stories for me! Her

grandmother so liked the idea that she made another one about how Suzy

was brave, went into a new place, interacted with a stranger, and used

good and polite social skills. Each story had several pages,

illustrated, with text, dialogue, and captions. This was another

wonderful surprise to learn that Suzy can read and write. Now that’s

what I call success! Best of all, it was all Suzy. She did it all

herself, her way. I think her mother wrote the captions in the first

Success Story, then Suzy felt empowered to do it herself the second

time.

You could create a storyboard, like a comic book strip, with boxes for scenes or steps, and talk bubbles and thinking bubbles to tell what is said and what the thoughts are, teaching the talking and thinking dialogue symbols.

Thought dialogue boxes have bubbles going up from the thinkers head to the dialogue shape, talking boxes come down to a point near the speakers mouth.

Now if you are trying to teach someone to use their self-talk to coach themselves and stay positive, or teaching Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, you could emphasize the helpful thoughts made by your participant and show how they can make the thoughts that help themselves overcome, succeed, and keep emotional responses in check.

Brad Mason

Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Psych Assoc, Licensed Specialist in School Psychology

Author of Your Dream Book, My Power Book, Diagnosis Autism or Aspergers: Now What? Counseling Tools for Kids in Schools, Intensivecareforyou.com video courses about childhood mental and behavioral health help, as well as numerous documentaries on Amazon Prime, more books, and published research about gender roles, aggression, and children’s television.

PS If you try it out and have a success story or images to share, i would love to find out! bradmasonlpc@aol.com

https://intensivecareforyou.com/get-anxious-child-use-coping-strategies

/Resources

Video modeling

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/10983007020040030501

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5118254/

Brief narrative therapy

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/238335902_Review_of_Narrative_Therapy_Research_and_Utility

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2001-00141-013

Solution-focused Brief Counseling

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK68124/

https://academic.oup.com/cs/article-abstract/30/1/15/391075

Social stories

http://www.researchautism.net/interventions/168/social-stories-and-autism?print=1

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1088357609351573

The post Success Story Strategy for Anxious Kids with Autism appeared first on Intensive Care for You.

This is a common complaint from visitors to my office, the Autism Clinic and Family Counseling Center. See some tips and tricks that I have seen work with kids who have Autism, ADHD, anxiety, OCD, and depression. If you are thinking about a child who has no diagnosis, and you don’t want one, good for you. Maybe if you can help head bad habits off early a diagnosis won’t be needed. The strategies presented to manage an angry and aggressive child will still be good for children from fairly normal to quite quirky.

What I have to offer you here is brief articles,  videos, forms, and templates to help with counseling, parenting, and behavior management strategies.

Metaphors for Teaching Children about Power in Feelings, Relationships, Teasing, and Bullying

Angry Refusal to Accept Responsibility

Teach Emotional Control and the Power of Thought

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Mind and Mood Control

Sibling Rivalry

Anger and Children

Find out how you can break these patterns with the free behavior management tips and tricks course.

Learn where ODD comes from.

Here are some brief videos for ideas about how to manage an angry and aggressive child:

I hope you will be inspired to try something new and you can help a child who has trouble with anger and aggression. This is no fun to live with, and will result in the child getting in trouble and being rejected by peers. Which only makes things worse! Check out my behavior management tools also, to find positive and energizing ways to encourage children to use more adaptive choices. I also have a few books on this site, such as Counseling Tools for Kids in Schools.

The post Manage Angry and Aggressive Child appeared first on Intensive Care for You.