How do you get the anxious child to use coping strategies?
How do you get anxious kids to use coping strategies?
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Here’s what I see in my practice. Avoidance of the triggers. Which is fine, except if the trigger is school, homework, or social settings. Avoidance is problematic because it is reinforcing- it works. It can be difficult to get the anxious child to actually try strategies to cope with what they are complaining about and do what they need to do.
Sometimes I make a list of the strategies, a visual, so teachers and parents can coach the kids to use them at the moment they are appropriate, when kids get anxious they have a hard time thinking and remembering. I also encourage using incentives, rewarding efforts to try coping skills. I might also use an accountability sheet, the kids rate how much they are bothered by a problem like anxiety, and whether they tried any strategies or not.
If they report they are bothered at their maximum level, yet they are not trying any strategies, it can become clear to them that if they are going to get relief they must try something different and practice. How do you get children to cope more effectively with anxiety?
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Anxiety affirmations
List of Affirmations to Calm Fears
- I trust that life supports me. I am safe.
- I am safe. I trust the process of life to bring only good to me.
- I am always safe and protected.
- I trust the universe to provide all that I need.
- I release all fears. I am safe.
- I trust the process of life to take me to my higher good. I am safe. All is well.
- I am ably supported by the universe.
- Life will always provide for me. It is safe here. All is well.
- No person has any power over me. I am free.
List of Affirmations for Anxiety
- All is well in my world.
- I am always safe and guided by my higher self.
- I lovingly allow change into my life and trust in my higher good.
- I am lovingly supported by the power that created me.
- I invite peace and harmony to dwell in me and surround me at all times.
- I trust my inner voice. I am at peace.
List of Affirmations to Promote Peace and Relaxation
- Divine peace and harmony surround me and dwell within me.
- I am relaxed and peaceful because I trust the process of life. All is well in my world.
- I release, I relax and let go. All is well in my world.
- I am becoming calmer with every deep breath that I take
- I am calm and relaxed.
- I am at peace. I am calm. All is well.
- I relax completely for I now know I am safe. I trust life and I trust myself. I am cool, calm and collected.
- Every breath I inhale calms me and every breath I exhale takes away tension.
Every cell in my body is relaxed and oozes calmness.
- I love myself deeply and unconditionally.
- As the wonderful, soothing energy of the Universe enters my body, I accept myself completely and deeply, without any reservations.
- I am confident about solving life’s problems successfully.
- I am social and I like meeting people.
- All is well in my world and I am safe.
- With every breath, I release the anxiety within me and I become more and more calm.
- The future is good. I look towards it with hope and happiness.
- Life is wonderful. I trust in God/Universe to live a well fulfilled life.
- I overcome my fear of anything and everything and live life courageously.
- I acknowledge that the only constant in life is change and am prepared for it.
- I am free of anxiety and continue to do so.
Inferiority Complex
Here’s another way to look at what is going on when we see anxiety. Alfred Adler, a famous early psychologist, proposes that all human behavior centers on a common goal: to avoid feeling inferior. All human beings are born helpless. No teeth, no hair, can’t move, helpless. So it’s inescapable then, that we come into the world as inferior beings, relative to the game of survival. Humans are vulnerable creatures as adults, we have great difficulty surviving in nature on our own. We need language, foresight, and a community to survive. Physically we are inferior!
As some children develop with an inferiority complex, they can go either of two routes. They can become controlling and dominating, living to win every battle, out of fear of losing and appearing inferior. They want to appear superior and powerful. Others may go the other way. Withdrawing and avoiding becomes the name of the game. That way, if you don’t try, nobody can see you fail.
What to do?
Seek professional help.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy- Teach Self-talk
Exposure and Response Prevention
Systematic desensitization
Relaxation Training
1-5 Scales
Big Problem/Little Problem
Solution Focus- notice when the problem is not occurring
Medicine
Routines, activity schedules
Model a calm example
Get outside
Exercise
Avoid overscheduling
Vacation station, scheduled breaks
Limit exposure to upsetting media
Do not minimize their feelings
Good nutrition
Regular sleep hours
“Mental disorders are common in the United States and internationally. An estimated 26.2 percent of Americans ages 18 and older — about one in four adults — suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year. When applied to the 2004 U.S. Census residential population estimate for ages 18 and older, this figure translates to 57.7 million people. Even though mental disorders are widespread in the population, the main burden of illness is concentrated in a much smaller proportion — about 6 percent, or 1 in 17 — who suffer from a serious mental illness. In addition, mental disorders are the leading cause of disability in the U.S. and Canada for ages 15-44. Many people suffer from more than one mental disorder at a given time. Nearly half (45 percent) of those with any mental disorder meet criteria for 2 or more disorders, with severity strongly related to comorbidity.” (www.nimh.nih.gov)
About 20 percent of U.S. youth during their lifetime are affected by some type of mental disorder to an extent that they have difficulty functioning, according to a new NIMH survey published in the October 2010 issue of the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. The data support the observation from surveys of adults that mental disorders most commonly start in early life. About half of children suffering receive professional treatment.
I want to create healthy happy life
It can be hard to work with a mind that keeps going to the problems and worries. It's time to teach children their power over thoughts and feelings.
I would like teachable exercises for; replacing thoughts that are not helpful, reasonable, or true, creating joy and emotional resilience, Mindgarden metaphor illustrating power and choice in thoughts, Dream Book strategy for identifying clear goals and building motivation, a video explaining how NOT to let others or situations have the power to bring you down!